Hjemmeværnet: First visit

Thursday

1:49 am

A month has passed since my last blog. During this time however, an exciting part of my journey had taken place. It seems everything is starting to fall into place. First, by being accepted into the Danish National Guard (Hjemmeværnet) and school!

It was a rainy tuesday evening and I came early. I emailed the national guard on how to apply, and managed to speak with someone within the barracks. I was excited about meeting a soldier and discussing recruitment. But I was early, and from the looks of it, there were a few other soldiers standing around the barracks' center court. I parked my bike on the bike stands on the opposite side of the small, cobble stoned road, and decided to wait in the nearby park, listening to music on my ipod. "What a weird start" I thought. And to make it worse, I had to go. You know, go! My bladder decided to fill up at that moment and I was too shy to even go around the barracks, asking soldiers where the toilet is. Thankfully, I was in a park. A park that had small routes that seemed deserted with large, thick bushes. So, in a heartbeat, I stood close to the edge next to the bush, whipped out my junior and went as fast as I could by urinating on such a high pressure, it could probably look like a decent sprinkler if pointed upwards (ok maybe not). While going about my "business", I kept looking left and right in paranoia, thinking that a random passer-by would spot me. But I was lucky and was relieved. The time went near to 19:00 hours (7 pm), the time that I was supposed to meet ------ ----- (probably for security purposes, I'm not going to mention name and rank). Let's just call him, Billy Bob! I tried finding Billy Bob and actually went into the depot room (where we get our equipment and uniform), so I gathered enough nerves to ask the soldier standing next to me. He told me to go inside this building and up the stairs. I saw a guy standing at the top of the stairs and asked the same question to him. "I am Billy Bob!" he said. I was relieved and shook his hand firmly. Anyhow, He told me to stay put in a social room for the soldiers and to fill out my application form while he had to attend a short meeting. While waiting, I filled out the form and was offered a soda. Billy Bob later came back and told me to follow him outside the courtyard where a whole company (I think) were having announcements being made and other stuff. I stood beside another recruit who was also instructed to meet Billy Bob. His name was Mickey. So Mickey and I just watched what the company was doing, listening in on what they were talking about, had small-talk with him, and waiting. When the soldiers were done doing what they were doing, Billy Bob had told my platoon leader about me, and I was offered to come along on a little 5 km run. I said "sure" and he went to ask if that was ok, but it wasn't. So Mickey and I followed Billy Bob into that social room where I had been previously in. There, Mickey partially filled out his form when we were called by Billy Bob into a conference room. There he discussed, briefly, what the National guard is, what it does, and etc, etc. We both shook his hand and went off. 2 and a half months passed, and my security background check passed, and I was going to be a soldier.

Life, Love...................................and beef jerky!

Thursday

7:35 pm

The sky was clear. The sun's brightness covering everything in its path. Including the planes that came into view from the top of the window. Its make unidentifiable through the blinds. As it flew away further, the blinds rolled down, startling anyone near it. I watched through what was left of the uncovered window, and saw the men working alongside an aircraft, making themselves seem puny. I looked up towards the heaven again, but this time a cloud came over.....and it brought with it, a whole armada of clouds. It soon turned grey, and suddenly, without warning, it started to rain. It felt dark....and sad. I had just left my girlfriend, whom I just started having a relationship with, less than a week ago. I guess I felt miserable already. Played around with my half-finished can of Monster Energy Drink. This would have been my 2nd for the day. Focusing back on the weather, you could tell it was windy outside...as if a storm had just brewed up. Finished my drink and pissed off the remains of my earlier one. I went back to my seat to find the weather had turned nice again. That same sunshine, now giving its warmth to everything (and everyone) that had been exposed to the rain. It wasn't till after maybe 10 minutes when a voice over the P.A. announced that Continental flight 2389 with service to Newark was now boarding.

Kept her on my mind and how far I must be from her. Had also thought of what I would be doing in the near future.....what I would be doing, in the distant future. It should have been a joyous occasion. I'm finally getting into the national guard, getting military experience, but being away from the person I dearly love....and loves me back. Going, and rising up through the clouds, it felt like a dream. Being as close to heaven as you could. If only I was outside, just flying all by myself, reaching out to God. And the sunshine on all the cloud cover, and the shadows with the same forms of the clouds above against beautiful green landscape. With hills here and there, just another place that I wished I could take her.

About an hour and a half, I was beginning to see residential areas and schools. I tried amusing myself by trying to spot individuals on the ground or cars moving on a chosen road. And most roads I chose were empty. So my fun level was about to go down when we were suddenly flying parallel to a large city with tall buildings. One in particular looked alot like the Empire State. I thought to myself, is Newark really that close to New York City? I knew beforehand that Jersey was sort of the sub-city or suburb to New York city. But I was gonna brush it off my mind when I saw the harbour...............and then I saw something incredible; The Statue....of Liberty! I was thankful for being seated all the way into the rear, because my mouth hung open and eyes wide in awe. I thought to myself, "OH.........MY...........GOSH". I saw that recognizable aqua-bluish colour on that little island. I'll never forget it. Quickly, my thoughts shifted to the building that I saw. IT WAS THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING! Yes, yes, you may say that it's no big deal and that I'm overreacting. But I've not seen many famous places, things, or people. So yeah, cut me some slack will ya?

Now, picture this; there can be around 10,000 ants in an ant colony. That's how I felt when I stepped out of the terminal transit of Newark's airport. It might have been because it was a saturday, but there just seemed to be an awful big wave of people, and more were coming in through the front doors. Even so, the lines for the security checkpoint weren't bad. Of course, they had to open up a new scanner station to accommodate more people. After I went through, I looked all around and observed my surroundings. All I could conclude of it was, that this was the single biggest gathering of Americans that I've been in. Not that I'm racist, they just seem different to me. I don't seem to know why. Wasn't long till I found my gate. Found it after standing on the moving floors. Don't really know what to call them. Flat escalators? Whatever it's called, I always enjoyed them. As I sat down, I noticed that I am among Danes now. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise since we all assumed we were Danes when we're waiting for the same flight that would fly to Copenhagen, Denmark. Of course, there were other nationalities as well such as Swedes and even Americans. I think I waited for about 40 minutes till we were let in. I had an aisle seat. No, not the ones where they're in the middle. The Boeing 757 had only 2 rows of 3 seats on either side. The 2 other seats were for a couple. I couldn't understand what they were saying, so I took them for either Greeks, or Italians.....not sure. Annoying P.A. announcements soon followed with recordings of the safety instructions and general rules in both english and danish. It was kind of annoying. Even the pilot was annoying when he got on. He kept saying that our estimated flight time would be "7 hours and 7 minutes". After we took off, I immediately watched a movie that I browsed through before even moving. I watched the "A-team", which was pretty good. I haven't personally watched the old series, but this film was pretty decent. Not the best, but pretty decent. Good storyline, acting, and effects. I had also watched "Enemy of the State", which I have watched before along with some hilarious episodes of "House, md". There were instances where I wanted to crack out loud. Meals were good and overall rating of Continental airlines is pretty good. I liked it.

About 15 minutes to landing, I looked out the window, and saw Denmark for the first time in 2 months. The weather was the usual Danish weather: Cloudy. After getting my luggage, I waited for about 45 minutes till my landlady finally found me and drove me back "home". 8:30 am, and I was back in my room. I checked my closet to find the USB drive a friend of mine had left me, containing a digital copy of "The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day". It's a shame that he had already left Denmark. He was sort of my best friend, if not, a really, really good friend to me. Especially in this house. We would keep each other company almost every single day. We were each other's gaming buddy. I decided not to sleep (as it was around 8:30 am which is 2:30 am in Toronto), because I needed to adjust to the timezone immediately. So, I went to church and caught up with friends. I had picked up a pack of beef jerky for another friend of mine. Another female friend came up to me and asked if I had gotten her chocolate. I was speechless and kind of ashamed. I remembered to bring beef jerky to one friend when I did say that I would bring chocolate as well. I had simply forgotten. After church, it was time to hit the hay. In total, I had stayed awake for 33 hours. That's the longest I've been able to do. I guess drinking 2 Monster Energy drinks can help....along with seat mates who take the armrest for themelves on a plane.

Although with the technological breakthrough of the Internet to enable us to stay in touch with our loved ones, it's not the same. Oh, how I long for her presence. Her touch, her smell, her face. Oh how I miss feeling her through holding her and embracing her.

Back in Canada....in time for celebrations, friend-, and hardships (PART THREE)

Thursday

1:22 am

Well, it's official. July 02, 2010, my sister became mrs. Garcia, and I, a brother-in-law to her husband, my friend.


What a hectic day. I was told to keep my sister company in her hotel room as she would be sleeping alone. About 12 or 1 in the morning, as she was taking a shower, I decided to come up with my speech as I was notified that I would be making one. Seeing myself as her only family showing up to the wedding, it was my duty to make a speech. Sat down at the desk, found the hotel pen and block of paper, and went at it. It was kind of hard to think of something touching to say in front of 150 people. I wanted to say something that would melt people's hearts, or even make some cry. I probably made three or four paperballs until I wrote something good.


Woke up. It was about 7.50 am and I wanted to stay asleep. But my subconscious told me to remind my sister of what she told me; "the hairdresser will be here at 8". Got picked up later by my brother-in-law and his cousin (yeah I know, the groom isn't supposed to see his bride yet but whatever), and went to "Cora's Breakfast". Love that place. Ordered the special as I had previously done a year ago, before we took off for Denmark. Being with the whole Garcia clan, we took pretty much atleast a third of all the seats in the restaurant because there seemed to be a HUGE line-up, waiting to get seated. It was pretty nice, my meal consisted of two sunnyside up eggs, a few strips of bacon, a couple of sausages, pancakes, a slice of ham, a slice of honeymelon, sliced strawberry, and toasted white bread. Don't remember if there were more. Well, later on that morning, it turned out that a friend of ours and I became the garbage disposal units for everyone asking if we could eat this and that for them.


Arrived at the event to set-up my drums and preparing for the sound check. We had a few technical problems such as feedback (of course), sound coming in from only one channel, my kick in the sub sounding weird, wires not working properly, shortage of wires, wires being too short, changing microphones, etc etc. I couldn't wait to start playing.


And here comes the hectic part. We had to get 44 bottles of non-alcoholic sparkling wine. The bad part of it was that I had already put on my shirt before we took off. So I felt like I crumpled my shirt but I know I definitely was sweating. Well, we eventually found them, 22 white wine, and 22 red. Then there were huge line-ups. For a place that had 15 cash registers, I wonder why only like 4 or 5 of them were open. It was just great that one was just opening and the lady chose us to be first because we had so many bottles to purchase.
Finally had the wines delivered to the kitchen, and now it was time for us to really get ready. We found a change room in which we all got ready in no time. Unfortunately, the photographer who was hired, wanted to take pictures of us getting ready....not when we already are ready. So, we had to kind of improvise like making small fixes to our neck ties, all looking in the mirror, check our hair, our phones, chatting, and whatnot fake stuff. My hair was awesome. A guy whom we play with, had his can of strong hairspray and sprayed it all over my hair, despite me already having strong hair gel on. My hair looked awesome though still, with a short faux hawk going all the way to the back. My shirt and jacket were fitting, so it was even better.
Waiting for the procession to start was kind of nerve-wracking. I was taking pictures of people whilst waiting to get called to pass the time. Finally, it was time. My partner, my brother-in-law's cousin, looked stunning. He told me one time that I should try to get with her. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right if it's his cousin.....even if we're only related by marriage. It still feels weird. Then, it was our turn to walk.

Don't I just look so stunningly handsome? It was funny because after I escorted her to her place, I sneaked out the back door and had to walk my sister as well.

Back in Canada....in time for celebrations, friend-, and hardships (PART TWO)

Wednesday

12:56 am

It was a weird feeling. Seeing my sister and friends again. Forgot how warm the weather could get. Made it even worse for me, wearing double jackets. The first thing we all did together, was watch my brother-in-law's basketball game with some other familiar faces who later greeted me after the game. I was very tired as I've been awake for almost 24 hours straight. I needed some shut-eye. Then my brother-in-law's other brother, my former worship leader and now youth pastor, comes rolling in a brand new Hyundai Genesis Coupe'. He sees me for the first time with a big smile on his face and sheer surprise at how big I've gotten. Not big as in fat.....just, bigger in muscle size. I had been working out for a few months to get in shape for the army, and more recently, for Canada. I have noticed that I've been getting more attention lately by the ladies since arriving. After the wedding, I had met up with a former classmate who sure got surprised at how big I've gotten. She grabbed my arm and made me flex it to show it. "You weren't like that before" she said. True enough, I had been the skinny guy that everyone used to know me by.

Seeing me was great for everyone, but my sister had other things in her agenda to take care of. First and foremost was the wedding. So many small, yet important, details had to be made ready, then there were the shirts for the groomsmen, the food, the time schedule, and last, but certainly not least, our mother. It wasn't much going to be like facing her face-to-face. Just sending the invitation was hard on my sis and she wanted to give a phone call. But because it would take about three business days to deliver the letter, she was under pressure to do it, and do it soon. Finally, she sent it on a monday, in the same week as the wedding, which was on a friday. She tried to call but no one answered so she left an email. We didn't expect our mother to show up and sure enough, she didn't. My mother had sent an email stating that we deliberately sent the invitation too late for them to attend. She made it clear that they received it in their afternoon mail the same day as the wedding. But she had it all wrong. We expected it to arrive three days after monday, on a thursday. But then we remembered something. Thursday, the day before the wedding, was July 1st.....Canada Day! That meant no work on that day. My pastor (and now my sister's mother-in-law) says it was a divine intervention that it was delayed such as that, or else my mom would have come in time and objected to the wedding.

I'll end this part, in the enjoyment of reading my mother's email to me, to read aloud to all of the guests of the event.

Back in Canada....in time for celebrations, friend-, and hardships (PART ONE)

Tuesday

1:14 am

It's been another long 5 months and back in Canada. It was awesome seeing old faces and even new ones. But the main purpose of my visit was my sister's wedding. Despite my mom voicing her protests about my support for the wedding and her repeating commands not to. Thing is, I've already made up my mind to come and join my sister as I do support it.

I stayed up all night to pack the remainder of my stuff, and still decided what I should bring to look good as well. I admit, I might have brought a few useless items like my leather jacket that I only wore on my flight and my favorite coat. Well, I guess I had thought that it would be used for the wedding but I had completely forgotten that my sister already got me a suit. I sigh everytime I look at it now. Other stuff like my working boots, gloves, balaclava (ski mask), army-style pants, and turtle-necks, were gonna be for paintballing (which is going to happen this coming saturday). In the somewhat endless confusion about what to bring and weighing my bag, I had finally finished packing and gathered all my important documents such as my itinerary, passport, laptop and whatnot, and just when I was about to leave, I drank what was left of my milk in the fridge and headed out the door. It was still kind of dark with that light blue sky coming out of the east. I put on my training gloves, my father's leather jacket with my hoody underneath it, and went my way. I always seemed to look intense whenever I had my gloves on. People would stare and I could feel it....even more so with my cool leather jacket on. Luckily, there weren't alot of people but it seemed that I certainly caught the attention of a paper guy biking around the neigborhood. I'm not exactly sure whether it was my appearance, the time in which I was travelling with my bag at, or the noise it was making, but it just bothered me.

Waited for about half an hour at the nearest train station for the next train towards the airport. It was totally deserted. And as my mind pondered on how my journey back was going to be, and the cold and tiredness was slowly coming to me, I had to go. You know, GO! So I checked for the cameras, went to the nearest bush that wasn't pointed in the direction where I was about to handle my...."business".....and went. I hate having to feel paranoid about if anyone's going to walk in on you. I know it's a common sight in Copenhagen and many parts of the world, but it gets to me sometimes. The train finally came, and in almost no time, I was at the airport....well before my departure time. Then as I was heading to my check-in counter, I figured I'd grab smirnoff's vodka-apple mix from the 7-11 since I had plenty of time. Tasted great.

The flight to Paris was alright. I actually felt really tired. So tired, I was half asleep when breakfast was served. It was kind of funny because when I was fully awake, it was the time that they were cleaning up all the trays and cups from the passengers. So one of them was surprised that I wasn't served. I guess it was my fault for kinda sleeping. After touchdown in Paris, we had such a long taxi to the terminal gate. Probably the longest that I've ever been in, but it was worth it because we passed by the Airbus A380 and gave me the opportunity to see it in person. It seemed bigger on TV though. The terminal buildings looked nice in Paris, but I'd complain more on the interior designs. There weren't enough seats, terminals were jam-packed, and it was hot inside.

Waited for about 5 hours before being loaded into a shuttle bus that drove us passengers to our plane sitting on the tarmac. Overall, I'd say Air France was alright in terms of entertainment choices and food, but their interior seemed cheap. First off, the plastic cover for one of my armrests was cracked, but it wasn't a biggie to bother me much. Secondly, whenever the passenger in front of me wanted to turn her light on, my light would go on instead. I tried mine to see if it would affect hers, but it just turned mine off. I guess someone screwed up on the wiring. Thirdly, the little touch screen was a little hard to operate because it sometimes needed a second or harder tap to respond. But hey, at least I finally got to see "Avatar". But something else would make this trip the worst one I've ever had. BABIES! Oh my gosh, I used to ignore them but this was different. There were three babies, two further down in front of me to both sides, and the third a few rows back on the right.....ALL CRYING SIMULTANEOUSLY! It was almost surround sound of babies!

Finally got off the plane 7 or 8 hours later, and I was ready to face Immigration Canada about my stay. My sister was worried whether I'd be tied up with them because of my visa and such. It was kind of tense because there were long line-ups to pass through customs. The key to getting through is simple; Act cool! He asked the nature of my stay and I was being honest to the officer (he was Asian and seemed really young, like fresh out of college. Skinny too, for a customs officer). But everything was in order and I got a specific mark that would allow me passage and claim my bag. As I got out, I almost felt as if I was a superstar because many people had been piling up at the exit, looking for their friends or loved ones coming back. I stood in the middle of the doors to just try and find a familiar face. No one seemed recognizable, so I sat down, took off my jackets as I was starting to sweat. After about sitting there for, oh I don't know, 5, 10 minutes, I got up and decided to look for them further down the terminal but I felt like doing a quick sweep across that pile that I mentioned and sure enough, I saw two familiar people. My sister and a friend. I surprised them from behind saying; "Well you guys suck at finding people". They both saw me with big eyes and hugged me.....and I hugged my sister.

5 Months later part 3: Flaring tensions....

Thursday
11:25 pm

Continuation....

My sister had finally summoned up all the courage she had and what received. I'm not entirely sure of what went through her mind, but if it were me, it must have felt like a once-in-a-lifetime moment that decided the course of one's life. Something that not only would affect one's universe, but for the whole world as well. That's exactly how I would have felt if I were in my sister's shoes that day. I remember it vividly. The skies outside the apartment were light-grey. It was still cold, and filled with depression and sadness. It was quiet in the apartment, only to be broken by mom's usual speech about how we shouldn't get into relationships while trying to pose as a big, strong Christian by quoting scriptures she'd memorized. I wasn't sure if she really had read the whole Bible as she claimed. She might have but it was just that she bragged about it. Bragged about how spiritual she is and how much she felt on fire with the Holy Spirit by moving from a different church in which she had a grudge against the pastor there. I should be glad over the fact that she feels more spiritually grown in the other church but spiritual growth is actually personal and has nothing to do with being in a church. Well, as I mentioned, my sister had gathered all her courage to finally say what's what. She had waited for an opportunity to come in and tell the truth. I still remember it clearly. "Mom, there's something I need to tell you" where the words that I suddenly heard as I watched on. "Edwin and I are getting married". I watched quietly from the kitchen access and waited for mom's reaction. It was eerie. Mom had that calm-looking face, as if she was really listening and understanding what my sister wanted. As if she was gonna accept what was being said. By the time my sister had said all she needed to, there was a short silence that was quickly interrupted by mom's surpisingly calm, yet tense, response. Though it didn't last long before the shouting had started. My sister must have todl herself that it is now that we show what we are capable, but her emotions got the better of her. To retaliate against mom's lashes, she screamed to the top of her lungs. Like flyleaf's singer in the song "Cassie". Mom's face turned into disappointment from my sister's reaction and more shouts from both parties were exchanged. I stood in the dark kitchen with a camera in hand...but still indecisive whether I should record or not. Tried to get an angle where everything could be seen but hidden. I chose not to because I wanted to help my sister against our mom but my emotions tend to flare up as well. I too have shouted at mom as if I was the lead singer of a death metal band. It was the time mom had decided to leave our family church and take us with her. We told her that we would not go of course. Anyways, during the fight, my sister told our mom that Edwin was downstairs and wanted to talk face to face as mature adults. Mom said no so they resorted to talking over the phone. Now I don't really know what Edwin said, but he said he talked calmly to mom about how much he loves my sister. Mom kept shouting "no!" and other stuff I couldn't remember. But I do recall mom in her, ahem, "spiritual state". She would shout to Edwin about how nasty he is, and shouted "LEAVE US ALONE...IN GOD's NAME, LEAVE US ALONE! LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE! IN JESUS NAME I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE US ALONE!". Being taught how calling upon the name of Jesus is powerful and not to toy with, I wouldn't get weirded out like non-christians would be whenever my pastor or anyone else used that phrase, but I just felt like a non-christian being weirded out by my mom's use of God's name in vain. Well, that's what i believe it was....using God's name in vain. Oh, and did I mention swearing? She would swear when she got angry at us, she would swear at occasions when she's in a conversation with people, and she swore at Edwin then. She hung up the phone and called my stepdad about the whole thing. When she was done, she noticed that it was nearing 2 o'clock, 30 minutes before my brother finished school and needed a pick-up. Mom looked at my sister with full hatred along with her angry tone, "This is not over". She told us to get ready so we could get our brother from school, but my sister saw this as an opportunity to get away...again! The night before, she and I had prepared to go back to Toronto. Well, she had permanent plans while I was just supposed to be there for a visit, then come back. Well that day, plans were changed. Our mom needs time to get ready to leave whereas it barely took 2 minutes for us to get ready. My sister grabbed her usual bag she took with her when going out but not all her stuff. I was totally unprepared when she decided that we gotta book it outta there. So I had my feet halfway in my boots while I grabbed my bag, ran through the door, sprinted 7 stories down the stairs with my coat and heavy bag hanging at my arm and my boots untied, as fast as possible. I thought she must have had a last-minute plan. When we reached the entrance, Edwin was waiting for us with open doors. I dived in and off we went. It was good to see my brother-in-law (back then, he was still my sister's boyfriend) for the first time in 6 months, but I still couldn't help but feel sorry for what I was doing at the moment. Leaving mom behind in the cloud of confusion and not to mention my brother who'd feel lost again like the time when he was still sleeping when my sister and I ran away from home in Cebu for the first time. I looked out on the clouds that were breaking up, allowing some light-orange sunset colours, scattered upon the remainder of the heavy cloud cover. Staring at it.....wondering what the repercussions of our actions would become. To be continued.....

5 Months later part 2: Back to the leaves of maple....

Tuesday
6:50 pm

It was a clear cold day. My sister's boyfriend had just flown back to Canada the previous day and it was now our turn. My sister and I woke up early to attend to some last minute packing, making sure everything was not forgotten. I remember turning on the news for the weather report but all the hype at the moment was keeping eyes and cameras at the city's airport. It was at one of the starting highlights of the COP15 meeting with world leaders about the global climate change. Listening to the commentators, I find out that it's what everyone always get hyped up about. The arrival of Air Force One, the presidential aircraft flying the most powerful man on earth, the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama. It was quite funny, the commentators mentioned something about being told that there are two landing sites and that Obama might be landing in one of them. It was kind of a shell game. Nonetheless, cameras and reporters kept their eyes and lenses on both of them. I continued to watch as the plane landed, Obama and staff stepping out, heading to the nearby convention center in a convoy, until I realized that alot of time had passed. I then called a cab to pick my sister and I up.

We finally arrived at Copenhagen's central train station. We were actually a few hours early because we weren't sure what snow conditions were like and how long it would take for the cab to arrive. Waiting was crap. We knew what time our departure was, but didn't know from which track. We could have asked the information booth but it swarmed with tourists and vacationers that day and, as usual, the ONLY information booth had long lines like that of a limo. It must have been around 10:30 or so when we came and our train wasn't leaving till quarter to 4. We were just vigilant with the information screen, watching, waiting for our train info to come up. We were quite nervous if we would miss it because the screen only showed train info 45 minutes before the train's departure. We were not only nervous of the time, but also of thieves. The station has a bad reputation of people getting robbed or pickpocketed....and few occasions of drunks roaming around the station at night...very funny. It is probably one of the worst feelings to have when travelling; You're still tired from waking up early, sitting on uncomfortably on benches, on edge 'cause you gotta watch the information screen while guarding your things. Waiting seemed to be cosntant on this trip.

5 Months later part 1: Months leading up to returning to Canada

Wednesday

6:32 pm

5 months seemed like an eternity, yet a lot of things have occurred. It was about time to pick up where I left behind. It was one of those "i know I gotta do these things but too lazy to ever do anything about it" kind of deals. As mentioned before, a lot of things have happened, and not just small things. Significant things like the progression of life that all young men and women experience. Things like inevitable confrontations with the people whom we used to love and trust. The joys of reunion, the sorrows of parting ways. The struggles of survival and finding ones own sense of belonging. Finding emotional and spiritual connections in a world alien to one's self. The struggle of having to manage yourself and the environment in your everyday world.

I guess I should rather start where I left behind. Life basically started to go downhill from October. My laptop died, school in Denmark didn't seem that exciting and became too routined. Struggling to find a place to live, rediculous government financial aid, whining complaints from my sister and nagging phone calls from mother. All that plus the hard efforts to keep myself in a somewhat good physical condition (Despite me buying a pack of cigs a couple of times back then and the fear of loosing weight due to cutting down on food consumption based on my sister's paranoia of dwindling cash savings). My sister and I were somehow relieved by the fact that we were soon heading back to Toronto, especially for my sister. We both thought that the plan for her was to stay in Copenhagen for 6 months to get away from her boyfriend and then she'd be staying in Toronto indefinitely afterwards. Turns out, we wouldn't not only move to Ottawa, away from very close church family and friends, but my sister would still have to go back to Copenhagen. It was suddenly decided so without any of our consultation. I wouldn't have cared if it were only me but anything negative towards my sister has an impact on me as well. It might have taken a few weeks before everything seemed to calm down and feel like life on its normal paces.

I looked really forward for December. Hell, my sister probably looked forward to it more than I ever did. Had been so stressed at school that I have missed a few homework, a couple of lessons on very hard topics, especially physics, and Christmas vacation was nearing and I really could have used a break. Besides, my laptop had died for months now and all it was, was dead weight in our bags and didn't provide me a speck of entertainment. My sister had better reasons to look forward to the 18th. For one thing, her boyfriend had come over in a surprise visit. Guess he couldn't take being away from her either. Had a great time though when he came. Anyways, they (my sister and her boyfriend) had decided that they would come clean to our mom about their relationship although she did kinda know. They just wanted to be open and tell of their feelings and intentions on hopes of being approved, accepted, and receiving our parents' blessing, especially from our enraged mother. My sister was determined to find words to say in the upcoming "battle" against our mother. As temperatures cooled down, tensions would heat up during the coming months between my mother and the both of us.

To be continued....